STAGE 9: Age 25-49 – Distance
Defining factor: Generally she has moved out and is living on her own, by herself or with someone she may love, married or cohabitating, or living with friends. She may be at the beginning of her career or profession. If she does not live nearby, interaction may be only during the holidays and vacation if at all. Otherwise, your interaction with her is by phone, text messaging and the Internet. She may have children, with you as their grandfather.
Observations From 101 Dads of Daughters
- My daughter has a life of her own now.
- Our interaction has changed now that my daughter is older.
- I share my feelings and expectations with her.
- I was there for my daughter when she really needed me.
- As I went through changes in my own life—that affected my kids.
- It’s great spending quality time with my daughter.
ULTIMATELY–SHE WILL STAND ON HER OWN TWO FEET
“Ultimately daughters become their own person. They don’t need you anymore and that’s okay. As a matter of fact, you should look forward to it—that they are standing on their own two feet, with a life of their own, and dreams and goals of their own. It’s quite gratifying.”
Arthur, fifty-nine year old father of eight kids, including six daughters ranging from age fourteen to thirty-two
SOMETIMES SHE’S GUARDED BY WHAT SHE TELLS ME
“She’ll call me and talk to me about what’s going on with her life.
At times we’re closer and at other times we’re not as close. She knows I’m very protective of her and so, sometimes she’s guarded with what she tells me.”
Donnie, fifty-six year old father of a thirty-two year old daughter and thirty year old son (divorced when his daughter was eight but remained close to her)